January 17: Finding My Voice
2020 left most of us floundering – and part of the start of 2021 wasn't that much more positive. Like many, the past year has left me with plenty of questions that I still don’t know the answers to. I have been lucky and blessed enough to explore some new passion areas, and have been able to do this among people that I trust and care about. I’ve realized that I have been thrown into a new journey, one that I wasn’t quite expecting, but, frankly, those tend to be the most exciting kinds of adventures.
Many of the concerns I’ve had have come from that fear of not knowing. Not knowing what’s coming next, not knowing how to expect the unexpected, and finding trust within myself. Even now, tonight, I started writing this and didn’t know where I was going with it. I have always loathed journaling – I love writing, but never really saw that point in getting my thoughts onto a page. Something about tonight drew me to getting my thoughts onto something tangible for the first time in a long time.
I had the idea to share my thoughts on a (hopefully) weekly basis for a few reasons. First, in current times you can’t really get to know me in person. Pandemic aside, you might simply not be close to me or you are more comfortable being virtual. And that is totally okay.
But the main thing that came to mind for me is that there are so many things that I don’t know. And if I share my journey – both the positive points and the missteps along the way – my hope is that I can normalize that for others, as well as myself. Growth is not a linear path. There are bumps and turns, unexpected pitfalls, and some paths that you need to travel more than once. However you decide to take your next step is completely up to you.
The shift came for me this evening. Since the start of the new year, there have been times I’ve been left feeling not enough, feeling like I didn’t truly have things to contribute to the world around me. Feelings of isolation have, I know, been common for many in recent times – but with that also has brought feelings that I am not worth it. Which, for myself and for others feeling the same, is simply not true.
One thing that I’ve been putting off since the start of the new year is making a morning and nighttime routine for myself. It’s become one of those things that I know for a fact will help me, but I keep finding reasons why I don’t need to do it and now we’re already more than halfway through the first month of the year. So, this evening I decided to sit down, meditate, do some reiki on myself, and get to work. Only, I also decided to incorporate in some inspiration through oracle cards gifted to me this weekend by one of my closest and oldest friends.
The card I drew for this week was meant to remind me of my voice. That in my voice there is strength, it is unique, it is invaluable. I truly didn’t realize how I had been feeling until drawing this card hit me like a ton of bricks and made me recognize that I have been overcompensating for some standard that I placed upon myself for reasons unknown.
I often joke about how my written words make so much more sense to me than my verbal ones. My pledge to myself for this week is to not belittle any of my words, and to recognize the power that my voice holds.
My hope for you this week is that you will recognize your own power in your voice. You are an unstoppable force, and this is that nudge you’ve been waiting for to remind you to make waves. The only one who can truly make your voice worth less is yourself.